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Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
High fiving was the original "like".
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
Just once I`d like a doctor to tell me I`m not getting enough beer in my diet.
Dear McDonalds cashier, Don`t give me that look, there`s no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don`t forget the toy b!tch.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I just ran a .003048K
Being alive is so expensive.
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.