Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Jesus is coming.... look busy
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and a lot of alcohol in them
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called " fun size" should really re-evaluate their stanards of entertainment.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.