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Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
I have blank business cards I hand out and call them my “none of your business” cards.