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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
How big does a cupcake have to be before it’s just a cake?
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
I see dead people. Well technically they`re stupid people, but give me a few minutes
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.