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Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said "a tent of lovers." I wasn`t really listening.
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium
I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.