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More food should come with prizes inside it.
I feel like I could give a great NBA locker room speech. "Guys, we`re all millionaires, none of this matters."
I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
Bitch Iām not insulting you, Iām describing you.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it`s the right amount.
Condoms prevent minivans.
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
I walked briskly with scissors today. Iām pretty wild.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet