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Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.
says, I am not an alcoholic. I am a social drinker. Problem is, I socialize too much!
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones.
The term "bath toys" has a whole new meaning when you`re an adult
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best looking guy in the world, but.... Oh, hell. Now I`m depressed.
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-