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thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
I just made you think of an elephant
You`d think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?