Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
"This is groundbreaking stuff." - Inventor of the shovel