Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, "At least they picked me"
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
Save water- shower with me!
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.