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Tomorrow I will live in the moment, unless it`s unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.