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Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
only fights if pillows are present.
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
Coffee: fueling you for a job you can`t stand to support a life you never wanted. Tastes good though...
I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought regular donuts.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.
awesome collection!
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.