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I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes