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The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
You know its bad when you feel like your life is being directed by Quentin Tarantino.
If you ever get caught sleeping during work, just slowly raise your hand and say "In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.