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I`d swim across the ocean for you.. Lol, Just kidding. There`s f*cking sharks in there.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
You have got to have worse hand-eye coordination than a lama on crack
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.