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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
I always read my wife`s Horoscope to see what kind of day I`M going to have...!!
Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
I am 5 for 5 on popping my trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)