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Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
Please pay me in cash. I`m not trying to hide money from the IRS, I`m trying to hide it from the MRS.
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.