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SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.
At least a stalker is there for you.