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If you just got invited to do something on New Year`s Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
Every day can be palm Sunday if you`re a single guy
“Knock him out.” – Mama
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress so that I’ll have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.