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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
I make way more decisions than I should based on the battery life of my phone.
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
Good for you, people that do things.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?