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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
Legally,ItΒ΄s questionable. Morally,ItΒ΄s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I`d probably pick living.
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
I`ll be back in five minutes. If I`m not, read this again :D
I pretend my bruises are sex bruises instead of I tripped over my cat while trying a new dance move bruises.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup, and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.