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If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Plus a social media overreaction.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
The reason why women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”