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Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
I`m trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
I dont believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.