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If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! - no one ever
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
Ever drink so much your wife makes sense? Me neither...But I keep trying
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
I`m always right. And when I`m not, I edit Wikipedia.
I wouldn`t want to fly Virgin. Who`d want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way?
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.