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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
I have been tagged and poked so many times today, I may not be able to walk tomorrow.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
If you play my workday backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
Try trick or treating in spandex... I`ve seen how much it can hold.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
I say the things better left unsaid.
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?