Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
Do bees even have knees?
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
"There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU." Things I say to my kids when we`re in public.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I`m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.