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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. "Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you."
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
Don`t ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape
As a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I’m terrified of the electricity bill.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !