Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ha! Who`s laughing now, f*ckers that took your Christmas lights down last year!
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
The best things in life require no pants.
The number one key to a successful marriage is alcoholism.
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..