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I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn`t listen to me... I said,"You`re about to walk into a lamppost."
I hope we`re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the sh!t out of people.
Are you thinking what I`m thinking? ... F**king pervert. I`m calling the cops.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
I got passed by a Prius on the Interstate and now I’m legally required to pee sitting down.
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective