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They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies Iām going to pay with.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?