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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.