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"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
Is there another word for synonym?
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny and thin. It`s a public service really.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook