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If you got up this morning and ran straight to fb i am 100% POSITIVE its because you missed me.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
You find it offensive?... I find it funny.... That`s why I`m happier than you