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Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
Saw my Ex with some guy at a bar last night... so I ordered a beer, took a few sips then gave her date the rest of my drink... Walked away.
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.