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Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.