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If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Like my therapist always says, "I`m not your therapist, you`re just laying on a couch in Ikea"
We always say that our elders are wise, because of their years of experience. But you know what? ... Stupid people get old too.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.