Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
I hate it when people exaggerate my mistakes and make it seem like I’ve commited a crime.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.