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BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch
No one should be surprised that so many statuses are about unhappiness and failure. You don’t end up on Facebook by making good life decisions.