Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.
Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK`D!"