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BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
My support group can outdrink your support group.
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.