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Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
Have you ever wondered about the look on someone`s face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Home is where the pants aren’t.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store