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I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
I`m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.
Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.