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To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
As you get older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can`t be bought.