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I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
People say 60 is the new 40 but the cop who just pulled me over doesn`t agree.
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.