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Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Kinda surprised I`m not an action figure by now.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
A fun thing to do when leaving the Zoo, is too start frantically running and yelling "OMG they`ve all escaped!"
Does "who cares" count as advice?
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves