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So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
The only candy I crush are empty cold ones.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
The Best Excuse given by a Lady for Missing Work ! "My husband took an overdose of Viagra.....Couldn`t leave him alone with the Maid"
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.