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I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
It takes balls to be a man.
Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact.
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
It`s no fun if you have permission.
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle “65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…
She caught my iphone before it hit the ground... She`s definitely my screensaver