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Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
Honk if you are reading this.
Lord, if I can`t be skinny, make my friends look fat.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I`m totally flexible
exercise........you mean extra fries
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
If I owned a copy shop, I’d only hire identical twins to work there.
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.