Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
The phrase, βDonβt take this the wrong wayβ has a zero percent success rate.
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?