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Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Theirye’re, problem solved.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.