Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
I cleaned my room and still smells like smoke, stale beer and sweat. This is the last time I use "Mr. Sheen" cleaner.
I found out last night that the only thing worse than waking up 3 times to pee is sleeping right through it.
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
Wanna ruin a girl’s day? Respond to her next text with “Who is this?”
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you