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Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, he`s trying to bust a move.
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.