Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just called. To say. I texted you.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it`s always perfume.
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
I always thought I looked like romeo, until I washed the picture off my mirror...