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See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.