Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Slow dancing with a fat girl? More like moving a fridge by yourself.
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
If running late counted as exercise I would be the healthiest motherf*cker you ever saw
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.