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This lady thinks repeatedly pushing the already-lit elevator button will summon it faster. I think I’ll push ALL the buttons when we get in.
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
The self-checkout line was a miracle for the condom industry.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.
Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can`t do is pick up it`s own poop. You`re just a poop collector.
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
There is no time to check time
Pizza: Round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday