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Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.